Babe in the Woods
by Zemmiphobia
Summary: Ace discovers that death isn't so bad when you have people to annoy and Legolas discovers that not all humans are nice and normal. A very short one shot.


**Babe in the Woods**

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece of Lord of the Rings copyrights.**

000ooo000

To say Legolas was surprised would be an understatement. He was shocked.

"Hey." Said the man irritably, waving a hand in the elf's face. "You alright?" Legolas blinked and then blinked again. The image of the tall male did not disappear and finally, the prince of Mirkwood pulled himself together.

"What are you doing out here?!" He exclaimed, looking around for any sign of companions, horses, or anything at all that would explain why an injured, half naked man would be out in the middle of the woods, at night, with no belongings.

"Ah." Said the man, rubbing the back of his neck. "I was actually hoping you might be able to tell me that." He grinned sheepishly, making the faint freckles on his nose stand out. Legolas went back to staring. He was an elf. It was what they did.

"You mean to tell me, you have no idea why you are here?" He asked, incredulously. The man coughed and looked embarrassed.

"Hmm. Yes?"

Legolas paused and then turned on his heel. He really didn't want to deal with this.

"Hey, wait!"

00000

"So, my name is Ace." Said the man after they had walked in silence for a hour. Despite Legolas' determination to stay uninvolved, the man had managed to follow him home. A bit of begging and terrible jokes and Legolas finally gave into the inevitable. Apparently, 'Ace' was coming home with him. Father would be so pleased.

"Aess?" Legolas asked, curious despite himself. _What kind of name is that?_

"No. Ace." Ace said, stressing the pronunciation. "Portgas D. Ace"

"What does the d stand for?" Legolas was silently kicking himself but he couldn't help it, elves were curious by nature. This question seemed to stump Ace. He paused and thought about it before shrugging.

"I have no idea, actually. It's always like that. My dad was Gol. D Rogers." Ace hesitated and seemed to be waiting for something. Legolas stared at him blankly and after a moment Ace went on. "And my mother was Portgas D. Rouge."

"What interesting names in your family." Legolas finally said politely. He'd be the first to admit that he didn't know a lot about men, he could count only two as friends in his long life, but he was sure that those names were odd, even for men. And, when he really thought about it, Ace was odd all over. Taller than a few elves he had met, Ace seemed to tower over him and it really didn't help that his shoulders were broader. He had more scars than tattoos and a very nasty looking, half healed wound in the center of his chest. It looked like someone had shoved burning metal through his ribs. His black hair and sharp face contrasted wildly with his silly looking clothes and scattered freckles, giving him a childish air to a serious body. Legolas sighed. Why did men have to be so interesting? Ace grinned at him, as if he had heard that last comment, and looked around, patting his stomach.

"Hey, do you have anything to eat? I'm starving." Legolas looked up at the sky and then back down at his companion. It was getting dark. If they pressed on now, they could reach home before dawn but he knew that men did not have the same eyesight that elves possessed. It would be slow and tedious to travel with Ace once the sun went down. If they stopped now, they could both rest and eat enough to make good time in the morning. Thinking quickly, he nodded at Ace and started to set up camp.

"So hey, I never got a chance to ask but, where are we?" Ace asked, helping Legolas build up their firewood.

"We're in Mirkwood." Legolas replied, stacking the last bit of logs the way he wanted.

"What island is that?"

"Island? What do you mean, 'what island'? We aren't anywhere near the sea." They both froze, staring at each other.

"Do you know where the grandline is from here?" Ace asked, his voice very, very soft. Legolas shook his head and wondered where on earth this man had come from.

00000

So, death... it was, well interesting. Ace ran a hand through his hair and sighed. Did this mean he was in heaven, or wherever people went when they died? He hadn't expected it to be so... green. Or woody. Or filled with blond strangers who stared at him. Legolas, as he had introduced himself, stood and looked warily at Ace, as if he expected him to attack at any moment.

"Where are you from?" He asked, suddenly sounding very, very old. Ace wanted to cry. He wanted to cry, then take a nap, and then pretend none of this was happening. He missed Marco. But he was a Whitebeard Pirate and they didn't cry, at least not where people could see them.

"I'm from East Blue, but I've been living in the Grandline for years now." He waited but as Legolas shook his head, he could feel his heart sink. He had died, then, and was now trapped in this foreign world with no crewmates, no brother, and without his hat. Life really sucked. Sighing heavily, he slumped down on a log and shot a small ball of fire at the stack of sticks. It did little to ease his frustration. The look on the other man's face, however, helped a lot.

As the campfire burst into flames, Legolas let out a yelp of surprise and jerked backward, almost falling on his ass. It was very undignified and it serves to cheer Ace up quite a bit. He had forgotten how fun it was to shock people with his devil fruit powers.

"Oops." He said, not apologetic at all. "I didn't mean to scare you." Legolas goggled at him and then glared.

"You're an Istari?" He hissed like a scalded cat. Ace blinked.

"A what?"

"A wizard. You're a wizard." Ace thought about this and pulled up an image of an old man in an old dress.

"Nope. I'm not old." Legolas appeared to be gritting his teeth. Ace found this hilarious.

"Of course not, but you can obviously do magic."

"I'm only twenty." Ace continued blithely. "I'm not even old enough to drink on some islands."

"Your age isn't what's important!" Legolas snapped, looking confused.

"I can't do magic either." Ace added, not bothering to hide his amusement.

"Then what where did the fire come from?" Legolas asked, his jaw clenched.

"Oh that," Ace lazily waved a hand. "That's from eating a cursed fruit."

"A cursed _fruit_?"

"Yep. They grow at the bottom of the sea, give you powers, and make you dead weight in the water."

"Fruit."

"Yeah."

There was a long paused.

"Why would anyone curse a fruit? That has to be the most idiotic thing I have ever heard."

Ace rolled his eyes and leaned back, feeling a bit better about this whole death thing. "I don't make the rules." He said with a shrug. "That's just how things are." Legolas glared and turned his back, obviously done with the conversation. _Yeah, _thought Ace smugly,_ this might not be so bad._

000ooo000

THE END


End file.
